The Oxford Parental English Dictionary is pleased to
announce the latest additions to its 2014 edition, scheduled to appear in
bookstores never. All were submitted as part of this year’s Little One Lexicon contest,
in which new words or phrases were solicited from parents across the United
States. The following 8 entries were selected from 54 qualifying entries. (Approximately 234,650 were discarded due to
vulgarities and/or violent content).
The 2014 additions include:
Meanieac (n) – A person obsessed with being mean. Give me back my blanket! Stop being such a
meanieac!
Damn (n, v, adv, adj) – Word used by child to express anger with no
knowledge of actual definition of word. Also used to irritate adults who
insist child not use that word. [From
Belgian, with Hanna-Barbera roots.] I’m
gonna damn you in the damn for being a damn.
Blowout (n) – Severely oversaturated diaper, generally due
to explosive fluid flow from rear of a child. A lowlight of the flight was furiously cleaning up after the blowout while in the plane's cramped lavatory as the pilot insisted everyone immediately get seated and buckled for landing.
Nite-nite (n) – Moment parents need a break and child is
forced to go to sleep, regardless of time of day. They're about to kick-off, time for nite-nite!
Dad’s special drink (n) – Beverages in dark colored bottles
which children ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH! YOU HEAR ME? Mom, why are there so many empty bottles of dad’s special drink in the
living room?
Pee-pee (n) – The private area of a young daughter. Used by fathers
too uncomfortable to say the “v-word.” [Antonym for wiener.]
Chicken (n) – All meat products prepared for picky children who love chicken but insist they hate all other meat. “Mom, what’s in the spaghetti?” “It’s chicken
honey.”
Because I asked you politely (phr.) – Evergreen answer to query “why?” Can be used in almost any situation. “Why do we have to go to church?” “Why do I have to go nite-nite now?” “Why
do I have to wear underwear to baseball practice?” “Because I asked you politely.”
- Rob
No comments:
Post a Comment