Heart Shaped Lockets

A single incident prompted me to start this blog.  Several weeks ago, just after my second daughter was born, my first daughter had me do something I never envisioned when I had dreams of becoming a dad.  I was in my TV room watching some mindless program when I hear Rachel yell, "Daddy, I need your help - I just dropped my locket in the toilet!"

This was my daughter's favorite locket - silver, heart shaped, and attached to a chain.  I looked into that pouty face and decided I had to be the hero to go in and get it.  So, after suppressing a sigh, I walked into the bathroom and was greeted with something she left out of the initial statement.

She'd just taken a dump...and it was still filling the bowl.

(Not the best jewelry box)

Imagine my horror.  I'd committed to this, but I had no idea how she did it.  Apparently she was fiddling with it while trying to do what she needed to do, and it slipped.  Now I love my daughter more than life itself, but I had serious doubts about going in after this thing.  Finally, I had an idea - I could create a scoop of some kind.  I found a stick in the back yard and a plastic spoon, along with some duct tape from my garage.  A few minutes later, the locket was safe and now under several ounces of bleach.


I posted that story to my Facebook page, along with the caption, "Years ago, when I envisioned becoming a father, none of those visions included me fishing around for a locket in a turd filled toilet with a spoon taped to the end of a stick."  Everyone loved it, as I knew they would.

My good buddy Pete - one of the co-authors on this blog - mentioned to me that we could fill a book with all the stuff we never thought we'd see but now do since we're parents.  That got the wheels turning, and this blog is the result.  For any parent who has ever found gummy worms on the inside of the freezer door, who has ever found their six year old perched on top of a doorway and ready to jump on you like Spiderman, and for any parent  who has ever wondered where the knob to the front door went, this blog is for you.  Being able to laugh about this stuff is sometimes our only defense.

There are seven of us, one for each day of the week.  Each of us has children at different ages, but we all love them and find humor in the crazy stuff they do.  In the end, this blog is for them.

After all, I know that I plan to share each of these embarrassing stories with my daughter's boyfriends when she least expects it.